What If I Don’t Know What to Say in Therapy?

Written By Angela Remondi

(Spoiler: That’s Still Therapy)

You open your laptop. The session starts. Your therapist smiles warmly and says, “So... where would you like to begin today?”

And suddenly: your brain goes blank. Total silence. Inner monologue: “Why can’t I think of anything? Do I even need therapy anymore? What if I just sit here and blink for 50 minutes?”

If this has ever happened to you: breathe. You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re actually doing it exactly right.

Therapy Isn’t a Performance

Let’s drop the myth right now: you do not need to show up with a script, a monologue, or a Top 10 List of Emotional Breakdowns This Week™.

Therapy isn’t a test - it’s a space. And sometimes, that space starts with:

  • “I don’t know where to begin.”

  • “This week was... weird?”

  • “I feel nothing but also everything and also nothing again.”

All valid. All worthy of exploring.

Why Your Brain Might Go Blank

  • You’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to start

  • You’re afraid of opening a floodgate

  • You’re feeling numb, distracted, or shut down

  • You’re scared of “doing therapy wrong”

  • You’re in a freeze response without realizing it

Or maybe, you’re just... tired. And showing up at all was the win.

What We Can Do With “I Don’t Know”

If you don’t know what to say, we might:

  • Reflect on the awkwardness itself

  • Explore what silence brings up for you

  • Return to previous themes and check in

  • Do a grounding or creative activity to ease into emotion

  • Let the quiet be part of the work (yep, really)

You don’t have to lead the session. That’s my job. Your only job is to arrive - with whatever shows up inside you.

Even Silence Is Sacred in Therapy

In a world that demands we perform, produce, and perfect... it’s a radical act to simply sit with yourself and not have the answers.

So if you ever feel stuck or wordless in session?
You are not “wasting time.” You are not a “bad client.” You are human, and this is the work.

Final Thoughts

Therapy isn’t about saying the right thing. It’s about making space for the real thing.

And some days, the real thing is: “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
Or: “I don’t feel like talking.”
Or: “I almost canceled but I’m here.”

That’s not avoidance. That’s courage.

If you’ve been curious about therapy but feel unsure of what you’d even talk about—you’re not alone. Book a consultation and let’s start from wherever you are.

Even if all you can say is: “Hi... I’m not sure why I’m here.”
That’s a perfect place to begin.

Angela Remondi
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The Benefits of Virtual Therapy