What Makes Someone the Right Therapist for You?
(Hint: It’s Not About Having All the Answers)
You’ve decided to start therapy. You’re staring at a screen full of therapist bios. Everyone offers "safe, nonjudgmental space" and lists 18 modalities. You're thinking, How the heck am I supposed to pick one?!
You don’t have to find the “perfect” therapist: you’re just looking for the right fit for you. And that’s about more than credentials or certifications. It’s about connection, alignment, and feeling seen.
Here’s what really matters when you’re choosing a therapist - and how to know when you’ve found someone who gets it (and gets you).
1. You Feel Safe Being Yourself
You don’t have to perform.
You don’t have to have the “right” words.
You don’t have to hide your awkward laugh or your “I have no idea what I’m feeling but I feel it A LOT” energy.
A good fit feels like:
Relief after holding your breath for too long
Being met, not managed
Having space to explore, not perform
If you're masking in session or second-guessing your every word? That’s information.
2. They Get Where You're Coming From
You don’t need a therapist who’s had your exact life experience - but it helps if they understand the themes.
Do they work with people like you?
Do they speak to what you’re holding: ADHD, trauma, burnout, anxiety, relational overwhelm?
Do they reflect back things that make you feel known, not analyzed?
Feeling understood is foundational to healing. You deserve to feel like your therapist speaks your language, even if that language includes “I’m not sure where to start.”
3. You Like Their Style (More Than Just Their Modalities)
Every therapist has a different vibe. Some are more structured and goal-focused. Some are conversational. Some are silent types. Some (hi 👋) are warm, validating, and totally okay with bringing humour, metaphor, art supplies, or messy emotion into the room.
Pay attention to:
Their tone on their website/socials
Whether you feel invited, not intimidated
If you feel gently challenged - but never shamed
Therapy doesn’t need to feel clinical or cold to be effective. It can feel human. (That’s the whole point, honestly.)
4. There’s Space for You to Evolve
You’re not static, and your therapy shouldn’t be either. A good fit is someone who can walk with you as your needs, goals, and emotions shift over time.
They don’t need to be everything to you, but they should be someone you feel comfortable growing with. Someone who’s in it with you.
5. And If It’s Not a Fit? That’s Okay Too
Sometimes the first therapist you meet isn’t your therapist: and that’s okay. Therapists expect that. We want you to find someone who truly fits.
You deserve to be picky about the person you’ll be sharing your world with. Choosing a therapist is less like hiring a plumber and more like choosing a guide for a deeply personal journey. The connection matters.
Final Thoughts
There’s no “perfect” therapist. But there is someone who makes you feel seen, supported, and safe to show up as yourself. Someone who invites your realness, not your mask. Someone who can hold your story without trying to fix or rush it.
If that sounds like something you’re ready for, I’d love to meet you.
You can book a session here through my online calendar, or send me a message if you’re not quite sure yet. Either way, you deserve support that actually feels good.